Archive for the 'Life of AnJoe' Category

I am Finally 30

Monday, August 25th, 2008

Not that I’ve been waiting for this moment but it’s here.
I asked my parents on my father’s 62nd birthday dinner how they felt when they turned 30.
This was his answer, roughly translated…

“We didn’t have time to think about how old we were. We were too busy looking for food for you and your brother”

What an answer I thought. Do you remember how you felt when you turned 30? In my situation, I am a bit depressed. My parents had family to feed at age 30. I on the other hand… don’t really have anything to show for except for raging alcohlism and addiction to nicotine.

When I turned 21, I had some what of a dream to accomplish certain things before I turned 30. Would you like to know my top 3 list?

  1. 6 figure salary
  2. Run Full Marathon
  3. Fit body.

So, did I come close?

The answer is, sadly NO.

I don’t make 6 figure salary, I have not ran a full marathon and I am Fat.

Man. I wonder how many people actually achieves their goal before they turn 30?

Every Office has one.

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

Have you noticed this? I’m sure lot of you already have.

1. The smokers. I am one of them. When I first start my job, I usually look for fellow smokers. Why? Cause we stand in similar cause. We are all rejects of health craze society. We are rebels. We are “cooler” than most normal people. We also smell.

2. The Geek Squad. There are always atleast two in the office. They pretend to know everything about everything. Not only that, they are supirior among everyone else.  The laws of company HR nor socially accept professional behavior applies to them… So they think. Lot of times, they speak in different language, aka the geekian.  They are mostly Men. I should tell you though, if there are women among them, you should give you A game to hook up with them for they are FREAKS in bed.

3. The lazy fat people. These people are just… well… FAT and LAZY. They’ve been with the company for so long that they don’t give two shits about what people think. They usually smell too.

4. The Cool people. These people may or may not be good at what they do but they are fun to hang out with. Usually they have supirior social skills and hook up with eachother as many times as they can during company parties.

5. Alcoholics. I am one of them. We pretend we are part of cool people but when it comes down to it, we just wanna drink on company’s dime. We sometimes come into work with blood-shot red eye and smell like we just woke up next to ugly hooker next door. When you spot them, be sure to ask about the crazy night. They will tell you that they ended up with some hooker next door.

6. The grandpa/grandma crew.  These people are the ones who are about to reach their retirement age and usually very cool to hang out with. They give much wisdom to younger rookies as well as to seasoned employees.  Grandma crews are like your mothers. They look after you and they are almost always nice. Grandpa crews are like pimps gone wrong… Nah, I joke. Not all of them are. These guys are cool to hang out because it’s a site to see when they hit on younger lady employees.